The Mind of Jason

Note: This entry may contain severe triggers for some people. If you are severely depressed, having suicidal ideations or suicidal please do not read any further.

I sit here wondering, what is death, more specifically what death is.

There is of course the common idea and concept that it is the ending of life. But is that all death is or is it something much more Does death even really exist Is it an ending or a new beginning? Is it a doorway to something more? Does life end when the body ‘dies,’ is that really death?

Definitions of death that I was reading talked about the ‘end of life.’ However, is life only about this physical world? Most faiths tell us that the soul lives forever. If this is the case, and the soul is the higher being, so to speak, then does death really exist if we use the earlier definition? If the soul is our true being, our true nature, and it can never die then there is no real death, only the ending of our physical forms.

While the soul lives forever, does that mean that nothing can kill it? Or does it mean that if nothing kills it than it will live forever? If the soul can die, then what can kill it? Can years of pain, hurt and loss kill our souls? Does life end when our bodies expire?
If the soul lives beyond the ending our body’s existence, then death is the goal of life. We live to die. We live to die because it frees our souls of their prison. It lets them rejoin the ethereal realm, the realm of the spirits. In Christianity, we would think not of ‘spirits’ but being joined with God in heaven, or for the souls of those who were “evil” then being eternally punished in hell.
I am not afraid of death, in some ways I look forward to it. I do not plan to end my life by any means. I look forward to it as a way finally to find a final resolution to life, to finally achieve the goal of life.

Is the soul the same are thing as the spirit? If it is, then the soul can indeed die, our spirits can be crushed and destroyed. It is where I have been lately, my spirit destroyed and crushed. At times, I wonder if I can ever resurrect it. Lately I have been feeling a bit better, but far from my old self. I do not know what will happen, who I will be at the end of this fork in the road of life, but I know one thing, I will never be the same person again. Good or bad, I am forever changed. The Jason of last year is forever lost. I do not know if I will ever love again, if I will even try to find love or happiness. I do not know what strength will be there or if there is any left at all.

Like the dance with death says,

It is the balance of life. Death.